1. How do you tell a guy you like to quit using lame porn gimmicks in bed and not embarrass him?
You know, I have actually dated several female adult performers and have had to deal with this exact issue! They would get all dramatic and over the top when I was damn well certain that what was going on didn’t warrant such enthusiasm. For me it was fairly easy to just say, “Slow down there, honey… There’s no camera in here!” Of course a twinge of humor is essential with the delivery. I guess it just depends on what’s going on and how receptive or not you are to it. There are times when the dirty talk and position changes and all of the theatrics are super hot and can add to an experience. Other times may call for a deeper more intimate connection. As with most things sex related, a level of trust and communication is required. You really should be able to openly say to your partner what you are thinking and feeling. If you can’t, you may have bigger problems in the long run. In fact, you kind of need to be selfish to be selfless in a way. Tell him something is a turn off if it is. Maybe explain that you aren’t in the mood for that kind of sex at the moment. Work with him. It can take time, but you both may be happier mixing it up anyway. Let there be the hot porn style sex AND the deeper love making. If he can experiment then you should be able to as well.
2. Do you think there’s a difference in the pleasure experience you have between sex with someone you love as opposed to someone you lust?
For me? Yes. In some ways you have stumbled upon the age old issue that many people, both men and women, experience. Losing the fire and lust they once had for the person they now love. Intimacy is precious and hard to find but after a while that animalistic lust factor can evaporate. I never fully learned the solution to this! Lust usually comes with the new, the unexplored and the longing for someone who is mysterious and perhaps unknown. Love, as stated earlier, is a deeper connection of emotion and trust. As we all know, with trust comes a lack of fear. Fear, in many ways, is incredibly hot and a vital part of the lust game. Fear of losing someone, fear of not pleasing someone, fear of getting caught, fear of being turned down and even fear of being accepted. These are all elements that can seriously turn up the heat in the bedroom. I find both lust and love to be different types of magic and when these two magic components merge, the results are nothing short of euphoric. I suppose the next logical question is, “How does one keep both alive for an extended period of time?” Whoever comes up with the answer to that will probably never have to work a day in their life ever again. For that is the million dollar question. With the exception of knowing that a little luck certainly helps, I haven’t got the slightest idea.
3. Is it true all women are able to squirt or it’s just a myth?
I don’t know, I haven’t been with all of them yet. Gimme a week or two.