(A column I write for Penthouse Magazine)
1. What’s your take on the whole “Friends with Benefits” idea?
HA! You are asking ME? My take on it is that this can be a fantastic idea, provided both parties are aware of the rules. I think a better way to put it would be “People With Benefits” cause frankly, I don’t really want to fuck my friends. Bowling then sex or coffee then sex is pretty much just dating as far as I am concerned. When a friendship gets intimate I have found it to get a little sticky and difficult to navigate. For me, this arrangement can be fun but rarely long lasting. I decided long ago that I am simply a free spirit and that my indiscretions are my own business and need no explanation or titles. A simpler way to go about all of this is to maintain one’s need to remain single and make that known up front. Anything you do with or without a friend from that point out is fair and honest. To quote the talented Mr. Trent Reznor, “This isn’t meant to last this is for right now.” If you are not a Catholic or a pigeon, multiple partners should be an easy lifestyle choice. Provided, there is no lying or misleading involved.
2. Is there a tactful way for a spouse to suggest bringing another person into the bedroom?
For men, not really… But then again, who says you have to be tactful? I would just ask the question at a relaxed time. “Hunny? Would you ever want to bring someone home with us? You know… Just for fun? I have always wanted to try that.” Just easy, simple, playful. You will immediately know if this is an issue worth pursuing I can promise you. I have had a lot of experience with this and frankly the best way to go about it is to let the woman suggest or try to arrange a three way. Just lay back and let her have the power. Otherwise, you could find yourself sleeping on the couch. This isn’t true for ALL women, but then again, it is true for anyone asking for advice in this department. If your girl is open to three ways, you will know it. If you do get someone home with you, make sure you pay more attention to your girlfriend or wife! Lord knows that dynamic can really fuck things up!
3. Hey man, any tips on making the “sessions” last longer on my end?
Yes, marriage. It’ll take forever.
4. Why do men who already have a women in their life and families, start relationships with gorgeous single women then end up going back to their wives or babies mother in the end?
God, I really don’t know! That’s crazy! HAHA
5. How does one go about overcoming trust issues from past relationships and lifestyles, so it doesn’t affect a current beautiful family?
Generally I would suggest getting a handle on those prior to creating a family, but life is often messier and more complicated than that. I would suggest seeing a therapist as personal work is required outside of the family unit. Maybe even couples therapy as well. These are the issues that are better left for the professionals. For me, I try to keep aware that whatever I have going on in my twisted little head has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Unleashing my own personal sickness on others really never gets me anywhere.
6. Do women really like “bad boys”?
I’d say not really. It’s as though they SAY they do… And then, once the boy is bad, they don’t like it all that much anymore! Can’t tell you how many times I have been told, “You’re bad! Its so hot, I love it!” Cut to 3 dates later and it all of a sudden changes. “Who are you texting? Where were you? What was that tweet suppose to mean?” I guess the whole bad boy thing can get a guy in the door, as some women find it intriguing… However, it’ll get him out the door pretty quickly as well.
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Dave – Love your honesty and straight up attitude (coming from a chicka) – keep up the great work. Your music, tv, all of it!
“To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.” ― Arundhati Roy
https://twitter.com/Rapa224
Its nice to have a mans perspective on things without having to ask your spouse or brother because you never get a straight answer! thanx P.S. i think its not the bad boy girls like its the scruffy, dark image thats attractive with a sweet, kind man down deep!
For me being single is the way to go.
i’m just numb right now of relationships if it comes, it comes if not,,, o well,,,
Are you taking questions for future columns with Penthouse? If so, where can I submit a question? Thanks
Dave..Love your honesty. If all men and women for that matter..could just be honest about how they feel, we’d live in a less fucked up world.
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