Sex & Love Goes Public

by Dave Navarro on June 2, 2010

I have actually been hired by a publication to do a sex and love advice column! HAHAHA! Why not? Since I know how to succeed and fail at both I may as well give it a shot. I suppose that part of success is also knowing how to deal with failure in these departments. Anyway, if you guys could help me out with some questions for publication, I would really appreciate it. I will, of course, protect your privacy… If you could include a first name that would be great! DN


Dark Matter – June 2

{ 68 comments }

Andrew Bond June 2, 2010 at 1:00 pm

My girfriend is a squirter…. and im sick of washing the fucking sheets every night…but I really love her, we’ve tried shagging out side, but the neighbours have small kids… and we dont have a car to drive out to the forest?

can you stop the squirting, is there a medical procedure available to us?

Thanks man, I know you care.

Andrew.

GREG June 2, 2010 at 2:10 pm

WHATS YOUR OPINION ON TANTRIC MASSAGES? BODY WASH OR NO?

sugarbabe June 2, 2010 at 4:40 pm

i liked the ironmaiden too…just got the podcast last night…sex column maybe not a love column dave do you feel love for anyone besides todd and dan:) ha…well sworn off cock myself due to the last two…one was too big the other too small just like goldilocks …thought i may have to break chairs over their heads like a WWE cagematch or poison their porridge..both viable options if it’s not ”just right” bit worried …thought i had a bad hamburger once at 3am and went vegan for 15 years what if these experiences send me gay…dr feel good what would you say and don’t say it’s you not them…. it’s them…they were cunts even though strictly speaking anatomically they didn’t have one…by the way i’d strangle andrew with the sodden sheets if i was his girl or powder my pussy till it was dry as a desert so it ripped the head of his penis ha…
luv… karen

copa June 2, 2010 at 4:43 pm

hi dave, i know this is off topic but…i’m hungry. u mind if i have a bite of your swollen pickle darling?
PF told me he’d never tasted anything better.

Cori June 2, 2010 at 6:30 pm

That is so cool! Congrats!

makar June 2, 2010 at 7:23 pm

After breaking up with my previous girlfriend because of me moving to another city I find that I have been having a hard time forgetting my girlfriend before this last one. Thing is, I know that basically you kind of like have to be greateful for the time spent together but, as mentioned, it’s been hard. Mainly because she’s the only one I’ve said “I love you” to.

Now that she has a new boyfriend I’m kinda relieved. We’ve been having a healthy friendly relationship since, but I have my thoughts wandering to her. Any ideas on how to move on?

Thanks. Love the radio show!

niki June 2, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Karen you’re freekin hysterical….you should write a column! & Congrats Dave! I’d read it!

Gia June 2, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Congrats Dave! I know you will give it your best shot, and maybe even work on some reference material! Shhh..good luck! Ohh..comment #1 there is no procedure, feel blessed means she has some awesome muscles! Use more sheets, and love it! Some women naturally got it, others have to train themselves for such an act! Damn…unsure? Read “How to have an Orgasm” by Rachel Swift, she explains all that shit..remember reference material! I write romance & erotica, ha! Still goofy?? Read “Sex Secrets of Escorts” by Veronica Monet..Good luck!! – Gia

kylie June 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

I have been in a relationship for 2 years and i am feeling really bored with my boyfriend. What could i do to make myself interested again? I love him a lot, but physically i dont really care anymore.

Tara June 2, 2010 at 8:25 pm

I’ve been married to my husband a little over 6 years. We have 2 sons (ages 5 & 3). Before we were married and up until we had kids, we had the BEST sex life EVER! I will admit that I’ve gained more than a few pounds since we met and I feel SO self conscious about myself. My husband, however, tells me that I am still sexy no matter what. I know he loves me, but is he just telling me that “I’m hot” just to get some ass, or am I just being too hard on myself and should let go of my insecurities? I just can’t imagine someone loving me and wanting to be intimate with me at the heaviest I’ve every been and the worst I’ve ever felt about myself.

Thanks so much and I look forward to hearing from you with your advice.

Tara June 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

BTW – I just turned 40 yesterday, so maybe my age has something to do with it?!?!

Jennifer June 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Don’t know where to start.. I am starting to believe it all ends.. Is anybody real anymore?
I enjoy sex , I enjoy love , I enjoy touch.. what happens when its not reciprocated? Take a guess on what happens.. then the problem is why is there no guilt? I can go on and on

Jennifer June 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Dave,
Here is something that has been plaguing me for years…
In basically every relationship I have ever had, I was the ‘more experienced’ one, the one who kept things fresh, wild and fun… always wanting to learn something new, try something different, have fun with my sensuality and my relationship and my man… every day, lots of times a day. I’m very happy, my man is very happy, life is really good.
Until we reach this invisible point where my guy starts to take me for granted. When it all starts to feel like an expectation and not a desire or a lust.
When a guy who never had anything but vanilla missionary sex with 3 women in his whole life suddenly is disappointed because we only had sex in the car, the kitchen and the stairs one evening but not in the shower or if I only orgasm 3 times instead of 6 he takes it personally. If I only suck his cock for 10 minutes instead of 30, suddenly I am what… lazy? Are you kidding?
Once that starts to happen, the relationship is basically done. I’ve tried but a relationship just can’t seem ever really recover from that. It’s like he knows he has a perfect situation and can’t handle it. It happens in both committed relationships and less formal relationships.
What is that? Why does that happen and what, if anything, can be done about it? I have tried to start slowly, not give so much or put so much of myself into relationshops from the start but I am just not happy unless I can ”be me”.
Any thoughts?
–jj

Kelly June 2, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Congratulations Dave!!
I’m a single mom, happily divorced 6.5 years…I have dated on and off but nothing too serious since my marriage ended – was with my ex 15 years (HS sweethearts). I live a very happy, extremely busy fulfilled life and simply haven’t met the one where I am ready to devote more time to a relationship…and frankly, my daughter is part of the equation so I’m not going to allow just anyone into our lives for that fact alone and nobody i have dated has met her. Very often I am asked, “why are you single?!…how can you be single?…there’s someone I want you to meet”…to some I explain…I’m very busy, work for one of the largest Hedge Fund managers in the world, have an 8 year old daughter who’s social/school life is busier than mine, etc. My main focus is obviously my daughter and my career but what annoys me is the fact I’m even asked that question at all, and yet I do question myself at times as to whether I’m not considering relationships for the fear of failure once again and if by not being in a relationship i’m setting a poor example for my daughter (a friend actually said that to me)…when there is a guy i like, i get totally nervous and honestly, sometimes I’m just too exhausted to put effort into the entire dating thing…it’s work! So is it me? LOL…thanks for the vent session. Kelly

DannifromND June 2, 2010 at 9:07 pm

What is your best advice for a person going on their first date?

kristine June 2, 2010 at 9:15 pm

I just got out a relationship where i knowingly took him back several times after him cheating and then got engaged to him. after all the plans were set except the invitations he bolted never to return but to get right into another relationship right away. ok so i know he was playing me i get that and i am too nice and i let it happen. But i want to know how is it after that you go from casual sex to a relationship, it took me several months even to just have the sex thing going and now they all want relationships, I am not ready and i have explained that. why do some men and women for that matter just not understand that? also what (heres a good one) and how made you get involved in the Pamela DesBarres preface to her book? its an awesome read but I was surprised to see the preface was written by you. and one last thing, why do guys like you(celebrities..etc..) only get involved with beautiful girls int he same business, whats the matter with a regular woman, is it arm candy or are you really just not interested in having a regular relationship with someone who is dating you for you not your status. and vice vera?

Trinity June 2, 2010 at 10:07 pm

First of all, congratulations on the column!

I’ve been having sex with an older guy (he’s 11 years my senior) for a few months now. We’ve known each other for around seven years so jumping head first into the sex wasn’t a problem for either of us, nor was the mutual desire to keep it strictly to sex and the occasional movie night at his place. Recently though, he’s started saying that he wants to marry me, “Not now but maybe in five or ten years.” We’ve discussed that I don’t think marriage is right for me and I’m not sure of his motives. Why would he bring up marriage when he knows how I feel about it and we aren’t even in a legitimate boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

sugarbabe June 3, 2010 at 12:20 am

plastic bachelor was that a name of a cover band you were in or your pseudo alias when out looking for women it sounds like a dildo could be a good name for a sex shop…i just twitter hopped to sophie dee a girl AFTER YOUR OWN HEART all your friends all have big hearts usually such ample bosoms and work in the adult film industry is that why you and tara …carmen electra separated were her bosoms not big enuf?don’t get mad get even show me some even bigger ones… we are at double H cups…h is for hedonistic bachelor ha…tell us about true love for silicone tell us how it feels for a man…i want to get bigger boobs now i feel like a kid who keeps seeing all the others with the biggest cupcakes at the party ha…
karen

tina June 3, 2010 at 1:08 am

Topic: Is there a way to settle for something other than a typical ideal regarding sex, love (and marriage). In this case, (marriage) means a committed relationship. Most people have a fairly set way of defining their expectations regarding sex and love. It’s almost cliche that sex begets love – but what happens when you cross that magical boundary where you know you have both? Seems like for men and women both that they tend to move on to a different challenge, oftentimes resulting in ignoring or devaluing their prior craftsmanship with sex and relaitonships. (searching for some strange?) That seems to be where the trouble begins for most people: it’s not about the glorification of “Have more sex and get more love?” It’s a proven fact that there are diminishing marginal returns where sex doesn’t equate to love, or reinforce it. So the real quesiton is, how can people find that squirrely middle where you don’t quite have enough of both? Ever? Hmmm…..

Chrissy June 3, 2010 at 3:43 am

I heard a very disturbing statistic, 10% of PEOPLE (not just men or women) think that texting while having sex is ok. WTF?

jC June 3, 2010 at 4:38 am

How do you tell a long term partner that you want to see other people but still want to be with them? Having a hard time convincing my boyfriend of 6yrs that I believe we are not meant to be monogamous creatures without him getting jealous & angry… xx

Susan June 3, 2010 at 4:48 am

How do I talk to my newly married daughter about her sex life with her husband? Her father and I have been divorced for years and we divorced because of the lack of passion in our sex life. He would only touch me if he wanted to have sex. And he really only ever pleased himself. Embarrassed to say I never had an orgasm while we were married, except for the self inflicted kind. I don’t want her to end up in a divorce because she married a sexually selfish man. Any ideas on this talk?

Amy June 3, 2010 at 5:02 am

I’ve battled this one for years: I am not able to have an orgasm through penetration; only clitoral stimulation. Hence, my husband is the only one who gets off during sex and it has become very, very boring for me. I don’t enjoy sex anymore, don’t want it and when I do, it is almost (well, it IS) a chore. I find that I’m actually looking at the clock and hopeful that he’ll just finish and go away. To be fair, sometimes we’ll have oral sex or I’ll use a toy, but for your everyday, run-of-the mill sex, it’s just flat out a pain in the ass.

Joshua June 3, 2010 at 5:34 am

It’s time to take down the link to Eric Avery’s Twitter page on the official Jane’s website. Makes it seems unprofessional, when he’s not in the band anymore. Also makes it seem like you guys don’t really care about the official website — that it’s a neglected backwater. (I guess the real online action is at 6767.com.)

Put a link up for Duff.

Stay with Music June 3, 2010 at 10:56 am

Dave you are the only glimmer of hope left in Jane’s Addiction. I know you feel the pull from other directions like writing a column, doing TV, radio and offers from other bands for you to join. It seems the other guys like to make excuses like, “eh we’e got mortgages to pay, we’re mature now, things are different, thats why we lost the plot, our lives have changed so this is why we can’t give 100% into music”. I believe you and Avery were the only men to not have lost the plot for what Janes stands for. The Grateful Dead never ever lost the plot even as they matured into old age and I salute them.

Eva June 3, 2010 at 11:03 am

Ok, bear with me this might be a little long winded. When I met my fiance 31/2 years ago I had just ended a longtime relationship with a guy I had planned on moving in with and had discussed marriage with. I found out he had cheated on me with his ex fiance. His rationale was that he figured I wouldn’t find out because I was always so busy with work. I ended things with him immediately. I met this new guy a few months later and tried to take things slow seeing as how my douche bag radar seemed to be malfunctioning. He is a divorcee with a child. He made me aware of all that right away. Normally I stay away from guys with kids and ex wives because I don’t need the drama. There was just something about him. He always treated me great. We dated for a year and a half before he proposed. I started making wedding preparations immediately. Everything was going great and then about six months later we both were layed off from our jobs. Everything seemed to go downhill from there. We both were in car accidents that totaled our cars. Then his ex mailed him papers saying that the divorce was never legal due to some error on his part that just came to light. So they need to refile everything and this time she’s thinking of requesting alimony. He claims it was an honest mistake and she sends me nasty e-mails about how I’m a slut and home wrecker for being with a married man! Oh yeah and she’s pregnant. Even though it’s not biologically his, because of the laws in the state he’s from since they’re still legally married he is responsible for child support for the kid.. There’s also some doubt about the paternity of the first kid. Not that it matters because like the other kid it was born while they were married so he’s legally obligated to pay support. Did I mention we’re completely broke? All we seem to do anymore is argue and stress out about what to do and how to make ends meet. And the kicker is my ex calls me up apologizing, begging me for forgiveness and promising to buy me a new car to go along with the new house he just bought. He says he wants to rescue me from my situation. I love my fiance but I feel like I’ve been deceived. I honestly don’t know what to do. I love him and want to believe him but too many things just don’t add up. I’m afraid to break things off with him because he is borderline suicidal and he has no one else and nowhere to go. He has already told me in tears that without me he’d be lost. I think we both need some therapy but without health insurance you’re the only hope I’ve got. lol Thanks for your time Dave.

Larissa June 3, 2010 at 11:08 am

Ive been relationship 5 years. We have one son and shared parenthood. Sex & life is good, as normal. I dont get orgasm with him. Im more kinky & intense; hes not jealous or hug type. If i enjoy sex more with some other guys is it wrong just do it? Can love and sex be separated? Is love something more intense? Is sex better in love?

ale June 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm

why ater even love goes away, the fucking “this person is mine” feeling still continues????and the point: how to stop this hell?????????
kkkkkkkk

April Juarez June 3, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Why don`t guys understand that we don`t have to have a `Howling Wolf` orgasm everytime to enjoy sex with the person we are in love with? Love has a way of tempering certain `requirements`. Don`t ask, don`t pout.

Gia June 3, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Okay, Dave, I tried keeping my mouth shut!! After reading some of the questions, and comments, I have to say something, forgive me! Kick my ass later!
Amy, I posted a book above “How to have an Orgasm”, by Rachel Swift, it is a damn good book, for ANY woman, even ones that have no real issues. If a guy makes a woman feel that well..she is just built that way, he is full of shit. Many women, and men assume that is the case, actually alot of it is within the subconcious. The little glimmers of thoughts that run through our mind. Are we fucking him good enough? Does he like what I am doing? Does this light make me look fat? Are my boobs big enough, my ass tight enough?
Mainly men are visual, hence why they love to see us naked, and love the lighting! Most women feel weird about that, hence the first mental block against tht orgasm. Ya know even the models in the world feel that way, not just the average chick! You have to love yourself and your body first, dance in front of a mirror naked, with lingerie..bugs you go to VS and do it in the fricken dressingroom! Get used to seeing yourself different. Most of what gets 90% of women is the subconcious thing, and a man is not going to know as he is trying to please you. He is visual, so doesn’t take that much! He cannot read our minds, seriously…
You may have toys, try using them in front of him, get yourself used to this, it will break your mind of such! And most important go explore yourself to death!! Find your G-Spot, the thing with that, you have to literally train your body and your G-Spot to react!! It isn’t over night, no presto fricken bingo!! Then start giving him ALL the directions in the world, he wants to know! MAKE HIM DA MAN, LOL..
You know what makes a porn hottie diff than the average chick?? Money, we all for the most part love to screw like bunnies! Hence the camera takes all the shit outta it, they get used to the audiance..go make him your audiance! Play him, be that vixen in stockings! Even if just for your fricken self, and ride the hell outta him! Ohhh..yes! And hot music that turns you on is badass! Gets you hot, and makes you feel sexy! ;)
Okay, Dave, done..going back out to lay in the sun! Have fun, and I hope I didn’t say too much!! Have fun… – Gia

Jen June 4, 2010 at 3:29 am

Hi. Just saw this, and I was very intrigued. My most frequent thoughts are those regarding love and sex, and the romantic human passions. I ponder many questions on these subjects daily, yet of course am unable to come up with a specific question immediately to ask you. Perhaps I should explain a few of my own experiences first and hopefully a question dealing with one aspect of such an extraordinary topic will reveal itself.
In my youth I was quite promiscuous, due to sadness, loneliness, alcohol yet primarily to the need for loving and spiritual pleasure. In my early 20′s I found a magical and intense love, yet was not completely satisfied sexually. He was madly in love with me too. I became quite jealous of his other relationships with other women, which eventually ended the relationship. At 25 I began another relationship which lasted a year, this man had many familial complications. Our relationship became one that you would hear of in a meatloaf song. I professed my love to him and he would give me the two outa 3 ain’t bad line. Our private relationship was incredible. We were very much compatible sexually. A total difference from the last relationship I had. Both men wrote songs which tore my heart in pieces. Not only did I loose the relationships with them I lost cherished friendships too. Which, as I’m sure you understand, happens in a band/family dynamic. So I found myself at 26 scattered in a million different directions. I ended up becoming celibate for almost 4 years. With the most prominent prayer that I become a person capable of unconditional love. During these 4 years I met many men, yet I never gave it up to any of them. Sifting out the guys who only wanted my body for sex, yet in retrospect I think I may have sifted even the good guys out. Though the best part of all of this is that I have completely fallen in love with myself! After that stage met 2 men, at different times of course. I’ve tried to form relationships, and they have been with the completely wrong men. Serious players. I thought that I could go back and just have non-committal sex once again, though I was completely mistaken. I need the calm loving relationship and the great sex, though I do not know if that is even possible. Now I find myself back on the path through celibacy, and whether it be that my biological clock is ticking or that I am just so bored of being alone, I really do not want to be there anymore. Though it seems like the only single beautiful straight men left in the world are those who are only looking for immediate sexual gratification by numerous women, which isn’t terrible its just not who I am looking for. I have contemplated web dating sites, but that shit scares and freaks me out. It was so easy to meet people when I was younger, but now that I am older it is much more difficult. And I’m only 32. I blame the internet actually. but that is a whole other ramble. Where are all of the gorgeous, honest, spiritual, sexy, truly single, with no kids or baggage, older than me, strong, secure, sober, maybe a pick-up truck driving, employed (masseur) men hiding? Are there any such type of human species anymore?
All kidding aside, do you think the world has become way too complicated for true love to conquer all? or is there truly one special person for each special person, to build a foundation of hope with? and still have mind blowing heaven reaching sex with?

crater June 4, 2010 at 7:13 am

Mike is a fucking moron

Perry June 4, 2010 at 2:56 pm

What is your opinion of ass sniffing?

Sukeo June 4, 2010 at 10:57 pm

I am in a 7 year relationship with a guy but I am a bisexual
My boyfriend sees no problem with me being with girls as he doesn’t see it as cheating. Everyone we know finds this very weird! Do you think this could cause problems in the future?

Jen June 5, 2010 at 12:02 am

There’s a book called the Ethical Slut. Helpful, simply worded, common sense dealings with numerous types of relationships. http://www.polychromatic.com/ethical.html

Jules June 5, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Is NOT TELLING the same thing as LYING? Is it hurtful to a relationship? Should you ever come clean, or just let it go?

For instance, let’s say I’m happily married… but for some reason I started messing around with Twitter and somehow have developed a silly little crush on a lead guitar player for Jane’s Addiction. It’s innocent enough, right? Hubby doesn’t have to know, right? Let’s say he also doesn’t even know I have a Twitter account at all. Am I totally messing up here?

Rx 4 Pain June 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm

I got to admit I loved Jane when she was shooting dope and wrote about it. I loved to watch Jane chase the dragon. Jane wrote and sung about life on the edge of darkness. Do I like her now? Not so much. You might say Jane is a boor.

Susan June 6, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Okay – so why is that men know that sex and love are not the same thing but most women do not??

phan taze shea June 6, 2010 at 6:28 pm

I love your Unicorns & Rainbows cover art. It is beautiful mythological fantasy. When I first saw the cover art I thought I would hear something akin to “Stairway to Heaven” but the music, albeit wonderful, is not really fantasy-otherworldy-surrealistic sound at all.

(Are you well versed enough to make a fantasy album just for fun? I would like you to try ;)

Tracy June 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Why can I give myself multiple orgasms but can never have one with a partner even though I have had some good sex…even had a guy hit my g-spot, but the orgasm got choked off before it happened. I get wet, I don’t consider mnyself uptight, in fact I can be rather kinky. Nothing medical, or I wouldn’t be able to give them to myself. What gives???

DariaDAMMIT June 6, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Sorry to say this, but unlike some, you don’t inspire or influence me. That being said, I WOULD like to thank you for being here & sharing your creativity with us that you give selflessly. I know you’re convinced that I feel/think very negative of you,as you indicated to me in Nov. on Dark Matter when we spoke. You’re wrong. I don’t. I think you are VERY talented, more than you may ever care to admit. Not many people can hear a song ONCE & then play it back DAMN near perfect. That’s amazing to me.
Referring to the negativity, I would dispute that. I don’t feel that is at all accurate in how I feel towards you. I do respect you. As I’ve said many a time in the past(via comments to you on MySpace) you seem to be a really great guy, very caring. Though, if you do say something I don’t agree w/ or if I think what you’ve said is ‘out of line’, I would not hesitate to tell you so. So I am sorry that you perceive this honesty as being ‘mean & cruel’. I do try to be tactful when criticizing someone. Again, it’s being truthful. Not much can come from people who are afraid to say what they really think. I support you but I’m NOT going to worship you like some do. You’re human, some need to realize that.
As for some of the comments that I have left in the past, particularly on MySp, I would like to take this opportunity & apologize for some of them. The ‘uniform’ that I teased you about so many times? SO sorry. I now realize why you seem to rely on that way of dressing yourself. Also, there have been times where I’ve said things that seemed too personal/overly cautious. I guess I was being too concerned. You see, I’ve been estranged from a friend for about 5/6 yrs. You remind me a lot of Tom & not just because you’re both Romeo/Casanova types.ha You two have been through much of the same experiences in life. I think that’s why I said certain things to you in the past. I do care about you but I guess those same statements ,that were made to you, were things that I would have said to Tom, also.I’m sorry for doing that. You will do what you will do in life. We don’t really have any influence on that.
About Tom & why we’re estranged…..It’s tough seeing someone destroy themselves w/ drugs & alcohol. He’s struggled w/ this problem for years, even before we met, which was in ’92. I liken it to seeing someone you care about banging their head against the wall OVER & OVER again. You can’t stop them, no matter how much you want them to. It’s as though your feet are in cement & all you can do is watch, watch them destroy themselves and hope they find a little strength to pull through and come back. I was torn up inside for abandoning him but I couldn’t deal w/ it anymore. It was too much. I feel like such a failure for doing so. So forgive me for inferring what I feel & my concerns for him & putting it on you. That was wrong. I’m sorry.
I hope I didn’t ruin your day. Guess you’ll be having some extra Pinkberry. You know I mean the frozen dessert, right? ;-}
Try & have a great day.
Catherine

LostBoy June 7, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Happy Birthday Dave !!!

Susan June 7, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Have a great birthday Dave!

Trevor Ayer June 7, 2010 at 5:08 pm

cheers!

Magical Mystery Shroom June 7, 2010 at 5:33 pm

We were getting cold so we went to Perry’s bung-alo and made a fire. Neither of us had urinated since before we started eating mushrooms. This was intentional as we wanted to test the urine’s effects, but now both of us were ready to burst. Perry got out two bowls and handed me one. We looked at each other, laughed nervously, and retired to opposite corners of the room where we filled our respective containers. I stress respective containers; even seminal research had its limits. We returned to the centre of the room and looked at the tinctured water we had wrought: it was glowing with a fiery orange cast. Since we were about to drink it we first smelled it to see what we were in for, and were surprised at its pleasant odour, or rather its fragrance.

Magical Mystery Shroom June 7, 2010 at 5:33 pm

We were getting cold so we went to Perry’s bung-alo and made a fire. Neither of us had urinated since before we started eating mushrooms. This was intentional as we wanted to test the urine’s effects, but now both of us were ready to burst. Perry got out two bowls and handed me one. We looked at each other, laughed nervously, and retired to opposite corners of the room where we filled our respective containers. I stress respective containers; even seminal research had its limits. We returned to the centre of the room and looked at the tinctured water we had wrought: it was glowing with a fiery orange cast. Since we were about to drink it we first smelled it to see what we were in for, and were surprised at its pleasant odour, or rather its fragrance.

Magical Mystery Shroom June 7, 2010 at 5:34 pm

The phrase ‘water into wine’ redefined itself in my mind as we drank off what we were truly hoping would do something extraordinary to us; if it didn’t we would be more embarrassed than disappointed. We might even be angry, but at least se would know where the phrase ‘pissed off’ originated.

Even before we drank we were feeling good. Very good. Extremely good. But within minutes after drinking something amazing started to happen. My body began to feel very light, as though I weighed almost nothing. It felt as if the molecules that comprised my body were separating and allowing air to pass through, or that I could feel the space between the atoms. I became aware of tremendous energy at my feet that rose up through my body in wave after wave. ‘Feeling good’ was rapidly changing into the most blissful feelings I had ever experienced. I looked at Perry and he was radiant, truly radiant. We started laughing and exclaiming in disbelief as the bliss kept increasing. My mind and entire body were in the throes of a kind of mega-orgasm that wouldn’t stop – not that I wanted it to.

Magical Mystery Shroom June 7, 2010 at 5:35 pm

I picked up a Bible from the shelf, opened to John and started reading aloud. What I had before considered beautiful but ridiculously partisan poetry, fiction really, was now revealed in a whole new light. It became for us a fly agaric initiation document, speaking the living truth directly to us through the mists of the centuries, uncovering layer after layer of meaning artfully hidden in the text. We understood it all; all the references, all the metaphors, all the hidden wisdom. We were completely delirious, of course; but in our delirium we were being initiated into the ancient cult of the personified fly agaric. It was as though God had manifested from the book and was addressing us directly, and we couldn’t have been happier!

Loulabell June 7, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Wow, those eariler post… some interesting reading there huh :) Think the only person I knew was Danni. Oh how times change!

Just dropped in to say… Happy Birthday!!!
Hope you have an absolutely brilliant day :)

Luv always
Lou xxx

Gia June 7, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Happy Birthday, Dude!! My birthday is in 6 days!!! ha!! Love birthdays, for it was the day life was breathed into us! Relish it, make the most of this day, and live life to the fullest extreme…That is my philosophy each and every day, but even more so on my birthday, for I invite others to do the same on such a day..I hope you did so on yours!!! I was a Friday the 13th baby, sooo on the 13th, think of doing the same, and living life to the hilt! feel euphoric and alive!! ;)

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